Monday, January 16, 2012

wait and see

‘you might have to wait for that’ … ‘you may not get every thing you want’ …

the other night I sat down to write out the things I had recently asked God for. things I have been standing on the Word waiting for, which seemed endlessly not to come. I had begun to ponder why things had been at such a long standstill, when I heard the Lord say ‘ye have not because ye ask not …’. It became suddenly clear to me that I had largely been assuming to receive things, like a badly needed job, when I had not actually asked for one. I don’t really know why it is. maybe it’s because one’s faith grows even more when one asks God for something, and when it comes it results in obvious glory to Him. maybe He just likes to be asked. either way, I asked. I asked for a job, with a certain schedule and pay, and I asked for a house with four bedrooms and two baths, on five acres, with a barn for the goats. then I sat down to write out my requests, more for my own benefit, so that I will remember what I asked for and when. immediately the thoughts ran through my mind that I may have to wait for a while for these, and that I may not get everything I want. they brought with them a feeling of impending disappointment and struggle.

I pondered these thoughts for a moment. they were very familiar. but I asked ‘why would I have to wait? why is it I might not get what I ask? where do these thoughts come from?’ again, it became suddenly clear to me.

over the last too many years I have heard these very statements come from well meaning Christians, who want to shield me from disappointment, and govern me away from asking for those things I desire lest I ask for selfish reasons. but even beyond that, most seem to view the requests in the light of what I am able to get with my own efforts and resources. while it’s quite true that I might have to wait to acquire the job I want or the house I want, and I might not be able to get them on my own, it stands that I am not on my own. nor am I setting out to get these things in God’s name. I have asked One who is able, and willing, to get these things for me, according to His own word.

so, I put these thought to rest. put them in the ground, really. chased them out like flies in my house. its not that I am unwilling to wait. I have been waiting for several months now for the job. and like Lazarus, whom Jesus waited four days, until past the time that the Jews believed the soul hung around before departing for good, and then called him out of the tomb, so shall I come up out of this tomb of need and debt. and it will be plainly clear that it was the Blessing of the Lord that did it. but I will not have to wait until some undetermined time that no one knows, and I will not be disappointed with something less than I have asked. my God is able to do far about all I can think or ask.

wait and see. He will do it!

Monday, January 9, 2012

new beginnings

from january 1, 2012

how can I describe what happened to me last night? it was like light bursting forth in my spirit. it was like ocean waves cresting over me. the love God has for me came over me in a way I haven’t experienced in a long time.

I once did a word search on joy in the bible. I found Zephaniah 3:17 in that search. it says God will joy over me with singing. the word ‘joy” used there is ‘giyl’, and it means to dance, to tremble, to leap for joy, to rejoice even to exultation. it dawned on me that God felt this way about me. no wonder I was overcome!

a couple of other verses came to mind, which I read, and saw what they were really saying.

Malachi 3:10 says bring all the tithes to the storehouse, and “’prove Me now herewith, if I will not open to you the windows of heaven …’ and I saw how eager God is to bless me.

Mark 11:22 Jesus said ‘have faith in God’. this one struck me because I saw that it wasn’t like you hear most people quote it. you hear the inflection on ‘God’, and the implication is to have faith. most people, christian or not, are glad to see that someone has faith to carry them through trials. but faith alone is not enough. if I have faith in something I can’t see, and I lean my weight on it, it doesn’t matter how much I believe in it, if it isn’t real it won’t support me. planes, for example, can fly because along with thrust they have real air to rest their weight on, to achieve lift. if the air wasn’t there, gravity would never let them get off the ground. but Jesus put the inflection on ‘faith’, implying that God can truly be counted on to be there and to perform His oath as promised. it’s like when you say ‘have faith in me’ to someone you want to encourage. you put the inflection on the word ‘faith’. or when you exclaim that you have no faith in a leader, you do the same. it expresses the faithfulness of the person in question. Jesus said ‘have faith in God. He loves you. He keeps His word’.

I went to bed laughing, and somewhat giddy, like the first time I ever thought I was in love. everything I am facing right now seems so ineffective. I woke up laughing.

I don’t have to try anymore. trust is no longer an effort.

I crossed over.